The Finnish people may not all be pagans today, but they have a long, proud tradition of being completely miserable and clouded in darkness for a good deal of the year and feeling that it's about god damn time the days start getting longer than an hour and a half and worth a celebration, preferrably one that coincides with the daily struggle against cryogenically cold winter storms.

Thus, they came up with Glögi!

And we're stealing it as an Agnostica winter treat! Throw a Glögi party today and thank Scandinavia.

Plus, Santa's from Finland. That's right, even the holiday tradition that usurped Jesus' role from the holiday that was usurped from the pagans in the first place is from Finland. They know their winter!

Agnostica glögi 1 bottle red wine 2-3 tablespoons Madeira (optional) 1/2 cup raw sugar, or to taste 1/3 cup raisins 2-3 sticks cinnamon (break them for more flavor) 5-6 whole cloves peelings of 1 orange 1/4 cup blanched, slivered almonds 1/4 cup vodka or rum to spike it up (optional, but encouraged) In a large kettle, combine all the ingredients except the vodka (or rum). Heat slowly, until the drink is steaming hot. Stir every now and then, and taste with a spoon whenever you feel like it. Do not let the drink get even close to boiling. Just keep it warm. Before serving, add vodka/rum if you wish. Servings: 1 to 6. Raisins and almonds should be served in the bottom of each glass. You can add them last if it's easier.